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Úlfhéðnar


A lone wolf with amber eyes

Photo by Chris Ensminger on Unsplash


October 18: Nap Dream;

I was getting ready to say goodbye to some family friends. We decided to play a game before we said our goodbyes. This was similar to the game tag; however, two people were "it" and not just one. I decided to use a secret technique to win the game. I got down on all fours like an animal, and the game began. My friend looked at me and said something like, "You will be both?" Everything slowed down as I charged forward; it all felt like it was happening in slow motion. My body moved with incredible agility and superhuman dexterity. The dream ended where I had backflipped just out of reach of someone else that had nearly caught me, and I was smiling.


In many dreams before this one, to become animalistic was often the solution to my problems. A loud roar that thundered from somewhere deep within would signal various stages of my transformation, and my humanity would slowly fade away. This was the first time I ever did something like this for fun.


As a beast, I was unrestrained, angry, fearful, and unbreakable. I would physically tear people in many dreams in half; I would pull the limbs off of ghosts with my teeth and swallow them whole. At my absolute worst, I could level city blocks with a pound of my fist. I often faced down demons or giants while blessed by God with this all-consuming rage.


The best word to describe what happened in these dreams would have to be "Úlfhéðnar." The Úlfhéðnar, wolf-skinned, are berserker warriors that take after wolves and not bears. These Warriors were known for their fierce trance-like rage and their seemingly supernatural feats of strength. They were said to howl and or growl like animals, foaming at the mouth as they fought in their frenzied state. In my waking mind, I never understood why He would make me such a monster to overcome my demons.


However, I think I understand it now. The monster was the side of me. I was too afraid to express. It was my voice; that is to say, it was my thoughts and opinions. All of me that I had bound deep inside was spilling out, and that scared me. Anger was originally my motivator for me to express myself, but not anymore. I don't need to be angry to speak my mind. I have learned that I can express my opinion/feelings at any time, and if people don't like it, then that's fine. I like this dream. It was fun.


Citations:

Gillan, Joanna. “Viking Berserkers – Fierce Warriors or Drug-Fuelled Madmen?” Ancient Origins, Ancient Origins, 26 May 2019, 22:57, www.ancient-origins.net/myths-legends/viking-berserkers-fierce-warriors-or-drug-fuelled-madmen-001472.

McCoy, Daniel. “Berserkers and Other Shamanic Warriors.” Norse Mythology for Smart People, norse-mythology.org/gods-and-creatures/others/berserkers-and-other-shamanic-warriors/.

Wade, Jenny. “Battle Trance & War Magic.” Of Wolf and Man, Of Wolf and Man, 28 Oct. 2018, ofwolfandmanbook.wordpress.com/2018/10/28/battle-trance-war-magic/.


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